Word Wonders and Woes

Words, written on a page or spoken out loud can be incredibly powerful or sadly powerless. I have loved words for as long as I can remember which makes total sense as to why I sit here and chose my words to be engaging for whomever is gracious enough to be reading them. Vocabulary and spelling were my absolute favorites in grade school and the A in my writing class in college should have sent me straight into journalism. Unfortunately, I didn’t think it was lucrative. Back then we weren’t encouraged to follow our passions, we were encouraged to make a good living. But, it’s never too late to revisit that passion is it? After all, making a living isn’t the end all be all, right? (Not sure if I’ve convinced myself of this concept as I have become accustomed to the finer things in life!) So, I’ll try to juggle both until one of them wins out. Passion- Money? Want to make a few bets???

I would have to call myself somewhat of a word “addict”. I love all kinds of word games; Scrabble, Word Search, Boggle, Words with Friends, etc. The list is endless. If I can play and learn at the same time, all the better. Maybe that’s why I like to write so much. I find playing with words not only fun, but it allows me to learn at the same time. So, if I could only find a job that pays me to do what I enjoy.. I’ll just have to keep working at this until someone discovers me. I won’t hold my breath. I’ll just keep juggling both until I get to retire. I have to reluctantly admit that I don’t only like to write, but if you don’t know me, I also like to talk quite a bit. So it’s not just written words I’m obsessed with- it’s spoken ones too. So words in general, whether written or spoken are intriguing to me.. thus the blogging thing.

Words are what language is comprised of, which of course is how we all communicate regardless of the language. Without them, true intent and socialization are vague. Words can be so meaningful and at other times so meaningless. I think about the power they hold. The use and choice, the way they are combined. Whether it be fact or fiction, written or spoken; words can inspire, damage, hurt, or soothe. They are part of our everyday existence and we never really give them a second thought as we speak and talk on auto pilot.

I pondered the existence of what it was like before words. I remember reading a novel some thirty years ago named The Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean Auel. I believe they also made it into a movie. I found it so interesting- it was a story about a civilization that did not possess language. The movie must have been a silent one🤭. Lol. It was a story, but nonetheless we all know that this was a reality in our distant past. They relied solely upon facial expressions, sounds, and gestures to communicate. I assume there must have been constant confusion or hopeless isolation. On the other hand- think about how peaceful it must have been. I would never have survived. I’m sure I would have gone insane not being able to get my point across. I know I use my hands when I speak, I attribute that to the Italian in me. Can you imagine me not being able to speak and only using my hands? I would have been ready for bed by noon from the sheer exhaustion of waving my hands around like a crazy woman. The inability to truly convey ones thoughts must have been a daily impediment. But I’m guessing due to the simplistic nature of our brains back then maybe nobody noticed.

My curiosity got the best of me and I researched the origin of language. With the aid of the written word I learned that the origin of language is basically unknown. I found it odd that I was unaware of this fact. All I can remember about language is that I spoke it and had to take classes in English every year until I graduated high school. I don’t ever remember learning about where the English language originated from except that our country’s first settlers were originally from England, hence we spoke English. With thousands of languages out there, roughly 7099, I always assumed one had to have come first.

But to this day no one knows how language originally developed. This question has been studied for centuries. Most of the evolutional theories are just hunches or creative guesses. And the written word on this research is actually quite boring so I’m not going to use my words to bore the hell out of you lol. Just know- it’s one of life’s greatest mysteries.

I think we could all be more adept at using our words..if we were taught at an early age how to be effective communicators. Everyone had to take English from grades 4-12. We learned grammar, comprehension, vocabulary, writing and literature. Why isn’t communication taught as part of the English curriculum? It is part of language isn’t it? It’s vital to know how to communicate. Considering the fact that, how and what we say makes all the difference in the world- not just the grammatical components. If we taught and practiced skills on how to use our words in a thoughtful and non-adversarial manner, maybe there would be less anguish and conflict when communicating.

But when emotions are high- would we be able to stop and recall the proper way to confront a potential volatile situation? I’m not sure if we all have that kind of restraint. The word for that is impulsive. I guess that comes down to personality. But I would think education and practice would be a big help to all of us. I myself have taken a course in my professional career on how to be an effective communicator. It was honestly very helpful. I learned so much. The difficult part is remembering to utilize the skills when emotions are running high. But with practice it gets better. Remember, practice makes perfect.. Why would we not make this part of our children’s education since this is a basic function of our every day lives? We could all benefit from learning this skill at a very early age.

The thing about words is that they can make any situation better or extremely worse. Remember that old adage your mother used to say? If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all. Sometimes I think I need to have this stamped on my forehead. Why is it that so many people don’t think before they speak? Maybe lessons in restraint and diffusion would be of use in these highly charged encounters. Add that to the list. These are times when I wish we didn’t have language and we were back in the Neanderthal days. But then again hand gestures in these circumstances might not make the situation any better if you know what I mean. We all resort to those when we run out of nasty words to use. And now we can use them in texts!!! ie. emoji’s…🤘.

Words spoken or written without forethought are like opening up pandora’s box. Once you have used the wrong words, there is no turning back. Once heard or received in print they most likely are never forgotten, especially when hurtful. They can leave deep scars and pain. And we replay them over and over in our heads. Remember that other piece of advice mom always gave? Take a deep breath, walk away and come back and revisit. There is something to be said for that piece of advice. I can’t tell you how many times I should have listened to those WORDS. I know most everyone has hit that send key too early and frantically tried to recall the emotional email but oops, too late…Regret, regret, and more regret. Or how about when you forget to take your caps lock off a text and you send your recipient into a tailspin. Tell me that hasn’t happened to you because I KNOW IT HAS!!! And I didn’t forget to take my cap lock off.. 🙅‍♀️ It’s that same feeling when the words come flying out of your mouth and the minute they leave- you wish you could hit rewind.

Then again, words used with thought can change minds, diffuse a situation, or make someone’s day. There isn’t anyone who doesn’t welcome words of praise, recognition or appreciation. We haven’t become so advanced as of yet that we can read each other’s minds.. although many times we operate as if we can. Being reflective in our approach to a conflict can put a cease to conjecture and promote resolution. The ability to use words effectively and expressively can touch someone’s heart, inspire a latent desire, or make the overall difference in someone’s life. This is when I love words the most.

An important thing to consider with words is the intent behind the words. Words spoken or written can be just words relayed and words on a page if not conveyed with sincerity. There is nothing worse than empty words. Remember that other old adage mom always would say to you? “Actions speak louder than words.” My kids hate this saying and I use it all the time. As fond as I am of words, there is nothing more disconcerting than someone who uses words with no meaning behind them. Nothing more disheartening than speaking or writing words that have no conviction. It’s like choosing a card for someone without reading the inside verse. We all know how disappointed we are when we realize that we are just getting “lip service”.💋 This is when my love for words is brought to a screeching halt. But I guess I can’t blame the words themselves. It would have to be the source that I take issue with. We should never accept or be that person. For me, this speaks volumes to the essence of the communicator.

Words define us, move us, teach us and integrate us. Words in songs, letters, magazines, books, and texts, evoke feelings, memories and influence our lives. We should be able to debate without offending, teach without degrading, speak without disrespecting but more importantly communicate without being insensitive. . So regardless of if we don’t know exactly how we acquired our words, we should always do our best to use them appropriately and with integrity. The power they hold can be immense and we have the power to use them for betterment of us all. Closing words: Be sure to make them powerful- not powerless by being true to your word.

It’s not always easy, but it is something we should all aspire to.