For as long as I can remember, being Catholic was a part of my identity. Well, longer than I can remember considering I was baptized about 60 days after I was born. My parents were both raised and married in the Catholic Church; the one we still belong to. My dad was a self described Irish Catholic Boy through and through; both of his parents raised Catholic. My Mom’s dad was Baptist growing up in SC and her Mom Catholic in Mississippi. Her and all her siblings were raised Catholic as Pop-Pop eventually converted. My Mom however has memories of attending Baptist church with her grandmother during the summers she spent in the south.
For my parents, it was an automatic that their three daughters would all go to Catholic school as they and their collective eleven siblings did. On one hand it was a decision because that was all they knew. On the other, my mom still cites distinctions between Catholic and public schools. She wanted us all to know how to write in cursive and have the foundational discipline she felt public schools lack.
In retrospect, I was probably more religious than most for a child. Maybe it was my in general “old soul nature”. I was very curious and had a lot of deep questions about God, Jesus, religion but I never remember it coming from a place of doubt, the way most people question religion. I just wanted to know more. I remember asking a priest after mass “Why did Jesus choose bread and wine?”. I also made a little prayer corner in my own home similar to the ones we had in my classrooms.
I should be careful to not paint my childhood as one of complete devout Catholics. My parents, especially my Mom, were always vocal about their disagreements with the church. Most of these had to do with the excessive spending and emphasis on money to the church which she felt too often to be hypocritcal to Jesus’s messages of humility, meekness, and charity.
Even so, when I was young my parents did a lot for the church. My mom specifically spent hundreds of hours fundraising, volunteering, and coaching for church programs and events. The Church wasn’t strictly about religious teaching. More than anything, I think what my parents wanted us to take out of it was the commitment and investment in community and traditions as a family. I have so many fond memories from childhood that had to do with our involvement. I loved going to events like the Chili Bowl, coffee and donuts on the First Sunday, and all dressing in long coats for Christmas Eve Mass. Was I always excited to go sit in Mass on Sundays, absolutely not, but in retrospect none of those “bored” times do I remember but I have plenty of positives I still look on.
Unfortunately today there seems to be a preoccupation with indoctrination. I’m sure to some my upbringing would seem that way. Now, I also have many critiques on the Catholic church however I never felt any “Catholic guilt” or extreme pressure from my parents regarding religion and as I got older, it was even more of my choice.
In my opinion, religion is just similar to general culture in a lot of ways. You’d never not cook ethnic food or not share specific holidays out of fear of “indoctrination”. I know I’m oversimplifying but it doesn’t have to be such a negative or extreme type of thing. For me, it was something I was exposed to and participated in. It was a good foundation. Maybe I am just lucky in who my parents are and the way they went about it. I think about it often the closer I get to having my own kids.
And even more unfortunate, I feel like as we’ve moved to a more secular society there is an obvious loss of investment in the community. It doesn’t need to be inherently religious but I don’t think we’ve come to find a way to replicate that same participation and fostering of community that churches have. Churches were a place for girl/boy scout troops, CYO sports teams, and more. There are community centers and similar programs but I don’t see many people seeking them out.
Religion alone isn’t the only contributing factor to our current divestment in our communities. Have you ever looked at Voter Turnout in local elections? If the percentage is in the high teens that’s a miracle. And these are the positions most directly affecting us! and socially, there’s a general lack of social capital today compared to a couple decades ago. Even in my own short life I can see the difference. I recently went to my cousin’s high School rivalry football game and was shocked by how few fans and students were there, how small the marching band was. Everything was scaled down at least 50% from when I was in high school 7 years ago.
My parents tell me about how few trick or treaters they get now. How small parades, fairs, and other events are. As a very sentimental, sensitive girly it really gets me down. I think about so many things I got to participate in during my child hood that just seem to be slowly fading out. Internet and social media has allowed us to be more connected to each other on a national and even global scale but at the cost of becoming more detached from our own local communities.
Like I said earlier (and probably on several other posts) I often think about the world and ways I want my children to be raised in. Of course, comes the question in which religion (for me Catholicism) plays into that and how I feel about my own faith and spirituality in my young adulthood.
When I accepted my current job I did not know of the agency’s Catholic roots and affiliation with the Lasallian Brothers (if you’re like me who didn’t know anything about John Baptiste de La Salle & the Lasallians; here is a summary). In July, my job sent me to Philadelphia to attend a conference for Young Lasallians. Majority of attendees were teachers at the Lasallian school but there were a few other social service agencies and a research institute represented. It was a blend of those who had sought out a Catholic school/agency, people like me who were catholic and coincidentally worked there, and those who themselves were not religious let alone catholic but were still working for an affiliated organization. I was surprised at how refreshing I found it was to have conversations about religion. As I said, even for an inherently religious conference, there were all ends of the religious spectrum and (especially from me) all discourse was welcomed.
I also learned of course more about the Lasallian brothers and other branches of Catholicism. My church was a Diocesan parish so I was unaware of the distinctions between others such as Lasallians, Jesuits, Franciscan, etc. One of the Lasallian core principles (and Mottos) is “God is everywhere.” I won’t lie, I majority of the time still personify God in that greyed “Father” in the sky. I tend to struggle with concepts of forever, enormity, infinity, things of that nature. So that’s probably where my very literal “Father” perception of God comes from. However, I felt I started to understand and open my understanding of God and my own faith to more of a synergy of our lives.
The other ever growing and evolving part of my Faith is connection to “Spirituality” not typically associated with Catholicism. Most recently, I started going to Reiki and while I was initially a heavy skeptic, after 2 sessions I am so sold on how real it is. For me, I heavily associate Reiki, oracle readings, and even crystals as a part of a general wellness journey both physical and mental wellbeing. Something I think faith and spiritual health plays a huge role in.
After my Uncle Stevie passed I remember having a conversation with my Aunt Sunny. I am going to very loosely quote her (who quoted Einstein) but she said something of “Energy is neither created nor destroyed only transformed, his energy is somewhere we’ll meet him again.” In my life I’ve never felt that science, spirituality, and my religion contradict. I feel that’s often the narrative tried to dissuade us from too closely associating with one of the three. As I see it, God gave us an free will to live out the best of our existence to the best of our ability and a universe full of tools to learn from and utilize to do so.
Deborah
As I read Nat’s nicely written explanation of her feelings on spiritual upbringing and her current journey I, being so much older can relate on all levels. When I examine this I ponder if we are just two truly connected individuals and this is unique or do most of us feel similar. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Nat and I are as she told me “cut from the same cloth” and we are probably outliers. Even though my fabric is a bit more worn and tattered than hers I find us sharing these views particularly rare.
I, like Natalie, was brought up in a Catholic family. Now you might say well then that explains why you both feel the same way. And yes we did even though eons apart experience some of the same traditions of faith and family. My first memories of the church was when we moved to the other side of Tiverton. My mom and dad had saved and were able to build a single family home. It was quite a big deal going from a third floor attic apartment without a full bath to a split level with two full baths.
I, again like Natalie, started out in a Catholic school, the Dominican Academy. This was where I learned about my faith and as a young child I was very interested and devoted to it. I like Natalie had set up my own little prayer corner in my room and I was convinced I was going to be entering the convent.
After we had moved and registered in the Parish of Saint Theresa our family would become very involved in the church community. I after my sister was born, the fourth grade entered the public school system as it was too much travel for my mom with a newborn. So, I now had to go to CCD classes to be able to receive my sacraments. To say we had a very close relationship with the church community was an understatement. My mom sang in the choir, belonged to the “ladies guild” and my dad was an usher. My grandmother even at one time worked for the pastor as a cook and housekeeper. And lets not forget the Pastor came to our house for Sunday dinner for quite some time.
The church community was relevant and an integral part of our family. My parents even at one time would go to a Friday prayer meeting group. I remember going a few times. I can’t say I recall going on a regular basis as I remember it being mostly adults. I do look back at it fondly though as I felt like it brought some stability to a family with all the trials and tribulations that come along in life.
As I entered into young adulthood I questioned my faith quite a bit, especially through college. I remember going to a few services on campus but I never really became “involved”. I got married in the catholic church but have to admit my attendance waned after I was out on my own.
Of course when I had children, I registered in my local parish and my children were raised as Catholics. They also ended up going to Catholic High School but not for the reasons one would think. As much as they had this element in their lives I do feel a sense of failure as we did not go to church faithfully every Sunday as I had growing up. We turned into those “twice a year” Catholics, Easter and Christmas.
My husband who was brought up Catholic just never really bought in. I can honestly say that I think he believes in God but is not one for religious involvement. I on the other hand feel that you gain so much more if the couple is united in their faith. The message and examples set are so much more effective and meaningful. I always wonder if he were more participative would my kids be more connected as young adults today.
Maybe, it’s just part of the process. I have in the past few years become more reconnected with my faith. I’m not quite sure why, as my parents were always and are still very much involved in the church. I personally feel like the world has made such a significant shift in family life. I too feel our technological advancements have severed our personal relationships with God, family and humanity as a whole.
Maybe it’s not totally the fault of technology. Maybe it is just the family unit in general that has changed along with disappointment in the church and the leaders. I think sometimes we fail to remember our leaders are still human and subject to the same sins we are. But I do understand how difficult it is to be told not to sin by the sinners themselves. But that is only one element of ones faith.
I recall always sitting down and having dinner with my parents, EVERY night. I was very much carrying this out within my own family. But there would be times when I would hear from my kids and sometimes my own friends that this just wasn’t really a thing anymore. When I dove in and asked why not? I was told too many different sports schedules conflicting with dinner and work obligations.
With so many life conveniences one would think we would have more time to spend together. But instead it seems like we spend less time with our loved ones and more time keeping ourselves busy. And now with social media even if we happen to all be home together, we struggle to keep ourselves off our phones. I feel like humanity is struggling to stay connected. And the more technology and leisure we have we seem to become more isolated. Is it because our culture no longer values what formalized religion provides?
Obviously religion or spirituality or whatever you would like to call it is a personal decision. And we as Americans have been so fortunate to live in a place where we are free to worship in whatever way you may and may not want. Faith in general is a difficult concept. It is human to question things we cannot find absolutes for. And I find that religious affiliation strengthens and connects us as the most basic of beings.
I hope those that have lost their connection come full circle and experience the peace faith provides. And if you have never experienced a relationship with God maybe seek one regardless of where you find him. One would be surprised by the numerous benefits faith in something larger than humanity can have on ones life. I’m hoping to see a revival as we desperately need something to join us not divide us.
