As we embark on the month of Love-according to me (I was born in this month) this is when we see our Love Languages flaunted. Did you figure out what your love language is by taking the quiz in part one? Well, if not I would suggest you do so immediately so that by February 14th you get exactly what you want from loved ones and nothing less! Here it is again, just in case, https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language
How we like to express love should probably be contingent upon the recipient and what their love language is. Do you know what makes your significant other feel loved? Receiving love on the other hand is all about US! And we should make sure our loved ones know exactly what makes us feel loved. Why leave it up to chance and risk being disappointed? Not a good plan in my opinion. To be totally honest I’m not quite sure my mate knows what my love language is… You would think after 33 years this would be well known. I might have to send him a copy of my results. And maybe he’s reading this right now and I won’t have to!
When it comes to expressing love to our loved ones I saw no greater expressions of love like that last couple of months. Our family went through quite a trying time hence my absence from blogging. It all began when my daughter, Kassia, went into preterm labor. She was admitted and assigned to stay in the hospital as long as it took to get her to the end of her pregnancy. It was a tad bit stressful for the family as we navigated supporting each other the best we could during the holiday season.
Christmas was a bit challenging. But everyone pulled together and found a way to make it festive for Kassia and her two year old Alice even in a hospital setting. Love was expressed in so many ways demonstrating that we were all there to do whatever was necessary. Her husband Chris was a super hero showing more love than one could imagine. Everyone, friends and family were constantly visiting Kassia and bringing her treats to keep her spirits up.
To make it more interesting, three weeks later, my other daughter Alaina was admitted right next door to Kassia . Alaina was early but only by a couple of weeks not three months like Kassia. Within 12 hours of Alaina joining Kassia, I received a call. If memory serves me correctly, that call was around 2:30 AM. I fully expected this call to be Alaina’s delivery news as she was admitted to be induced.
But no, it was Kassia who had delivered. I can’t lie, I was a bit shaken. But our little miracle, Estelle Maris was born at 27 weeks, 2 lbs 5 oz. More love could not have been displayed as Alaina’s husband Evan was present for Kassia’s emergency C section. Due to it being an emergency, Chris could not possibly have made it on time. My friends, a bigger act of service I cannot think of. It brings tears to my eyes just writing about it. This expression of love was beyond any description I can write in this post.
Within 48 hours of Stella being born Alaina delivered our first grandson, Jace Thomas 7lbs 3 oz. My other super hero son in law, Evan, had experienced his second emergency C Section in less than 48 hours. A world wind of events in such a short time frame. Two cousins born two days apart. I’m not sure anyone could have predicted or been prepared for these unfolding events.
During this time we used every available form of the love languages. All were relevant and so important to get us through what life had bestowed upon our family. Everyone of our family members expressed each and every one of them without even giving it a second thought.
On a daily basis I don’t think we think much about how we give or receive love. This demonstration is not exclusive just to our intimate partners but to all of our loved ones. All of our relationships need cultivating and nurturing. When I think back to when I was a little girl, my mother always would tell me “Actions Speak Louder than Words.” I’m guessing that is where I got my preferred love language of Acts of Service. Of course that is how I feel most loved. Sometimes we just assume the way we like to show love is the same way everyone else likes to receive love.
There are times that I also think that this changes. At the beginning of relationships it seems so important to want your mate to express both verbally and physically their love for you. New loves want to spend every waking minute with each other to feel secure and that they are the number one priority. But for me as the relationship grows and matures, the gift giving and the quality time lose some of their oomph. Physical touch as in hugging is definitely integral in a mature relationship, especially during times of stress and hardship.
This we know is backed up by science. Studies have shown that in women (not men), a twenty second hug reduces cortisol (stress hormone) and increases oxytocin otherwise known as the “love” hormone. So, pay attention men and be sure to hug your women not only during stressful times but ANY time!! And as I said before these are not exclusive to just your romantic partner, we ALL benefit from hugs… even the men…. although they profess not to need them as much.. I say that’s a bunch of MALARKEY!
When it comes to how I like to show my love I have to say that I like to use them all. I love picking out that perfect gift for someone especially tailoring it to their personality. I’m a big fan of affirmations as I always tell the people in my life I love them when saying good bye either in person or on the phone. I’m more than happy to spend time or simply do something unexpected to help my loved ones. I grew up in a very demonstrative family so physical touch is also one of my favorites… I am the hugger of all huggers!!! I love to give and receive HUGS!! I guess when it comes to giving I don’t have a preferred love language, I love them ALL! So when it comes down to it, I better know what my recipient needs to really feel the love I have to offer.
To all our readers who are surely loved and appreciated, enjoy this season of love.
