February, a month that is one of the coldest of the year for us northerners but holds one of our hottest celebrated holidays, Valentine’s Day. This day dates all the way back to Ancient Rome, known as Lupercalia. Their celebration consisted of partying for not one but three days (naked & drunk), sacrificing goats and dogs and slapping women with the hides. Sounds a little barbaric no? Well I guess that was probably typical of Ancient Rome. This bizarre practice was supposed to increase fertility. Not sure what woman would find this appealing but I guess things were different back then weren’t they? This would never go over well with today’s feminists or even those who don’t consider themselves feminists. Thank God we got civilized and decided to give chocolates and flowers instead. Don’t know about you but that certainly makes me more amorous.
The Pope ultimately banned this outlandish practice in the 5th century and replaced it with the feast of St. Valentine. No one really knows who St. Valentine was. It appears there are many different theories but he ultimately became known as the Saint associated with courtly love. Speaking of courtly love, I can happily report the Balog family has been celebrating quite a lot of courtly “LOVE”.
In July of 2021, my youngest daughter, Kassia-the subject of a previous blog, got betrothed to a wonderful young man, my new son in law, Christopher O’Reilly. As exciting as it was, the wedding planning itself was a bit harrowing. I always marvel when people say, “weddings are so much fun!”. YES! They are… but that is the actual DAY…Getting there is where it fails to be the joyous process we anticipate it to be. C’mon ladies… don’t deny it.
I remember my own wedding and I know numerous times I thought to myself, ”is this all going to be worth it?” Kassia’s wedding had an added element of stress as we had the all encompassing COVID to deal with. This was an added obstacle which posed a unique set of challenges. I refused to host a wedding where we would all be dancing six feet apart and wearing masks. The guest list was a constant moving target as restrictions were slowly relaxed. I have to say, we were extremely blessed as we were able to accommodate everyone on the guest list with NO restrictions. And I can proudly proclaim we were not a spreader event. I do not know of one person who got Covid after this celebration. I would say it was a success on all fronts.
As excited as you are for your daughter and wanting to give her everything she has ever dreamed of, conflict is inevitable. Being someone who was once in her shoes, you think you know exactly what she wants…or pretty close to it. But alas, you come to find out that you are somehow WRONG! On the other hand, as mother of bride you also think you will somehow be better at this job than your mother was. And…once again you are WRONG!
You of course recognize this day as “their” day but as facilitators of “their” day there are parameters and limits to be dealt with. Every daughter needs to know there is nothing that a mother wants more than to provide her with every “ask” to make her day perfect. Fathers are consulted but only when an arbitrator is needed and of course to help financially. The MOB needs to be sure that from a guest perspective she can provide an enjoyable experience as they are honoring us with their presence. It truly is one of those things where if you can’t compromise you really should just elope or foot the entire bill yourself. It’s kind of a practice session for your actual marriage, only with your parents… lol. I know that sounds harsh but that is the reality of the situation which most people really do not want to say out loud.
It’s a tightrope walk. You try feverishly to satisfy everyone, knowing it is totally impossible. But at the end of the day somehow after all of the arguing and compromising, it comes together and the result is magical. Kassia was a stunning bride and Chris a handsome groom. The love was blooming in everyone’s hearts as we watched them begin their lives as husband and wife. It was a perfect day. And yes, it WAS all worth it!
And now, with a little experience under my belt as MOB I get a redo! Alaina, my oldest daughter who I have referred to as “the boomerang” in another previous post got engaged last year. Who-hoo! We are now planning a second wedding to take place in September of this year. Albeit they are both very different women, I look forward to providing the same magical experience without the added stress of that dirty word…COVID. Should be a breeze, no? I cannot be happier to add another son to our family, one that I know is worthy of my daughter’s love. I cannot wait for Mr. Evan Diohep to join our family.
My niece, Carolyn, who lives in Australia, also just got engaged! So much love in the air I cannot contain myself! I am so excited for Carolyn. I cannot wait to meet her fiancée as I have heard so much about him and based upon the proposal video on Instagram he looks like a great catch. Although personally (without bias), I think he is making out in the deal. I do give him an A for effort on his proposal. It looked so romantic; I was so impressed by the backdrop. Now, let’s get on with the details so I can start planning my trip! I guess I am being a tad presumptuous on being invited…fingers crossed…
I’ve also had the honor of being a guest at a couple of weddings last year. It’s always nice to compare notes with friends when it comes to this laborious wedding process. It makes you feel like you are not the unreasonable, controlling, biatch you start thinking of yourself as. I admit, I am sure at times I was. But it was all with good intentions. Lol. It’s comforting to find out that other MOB’S struggle with similar issues, the elimination of cherished traditions and the adoption of foreign new ones. At a minimum, you are pleased it’s relatively the same even in the absence of COVID.
It is wonderful to watch your beloved offspring and other young people find lasting love. You always think that your own children’s weddings are beyond compare. But that really isn’t so. Each one that I attended was just as touching as my daughter’s. Watching my neighbors’ (of 25 years) daughter, beautiful blue eyed toddler, Maddie Poirier walk down the aisle as a gorgeous woman brought tears to my eyes. Her groom, Noah Britt was such a perfect match. You could tell by the look in his adoring eyes as she approached him that she was his one and only. The day could not have been any better.
The same look was captured when my friend Julie’s daughter walked down the aisle. Watching Gracie’s groom Chris’s eyes tear up as he looked upon his bride once again brought out my own tears. Julie had every detail covered providing her daughter with a picture-perfect day and the guests with a memorable celebration. I was honored to be able to attend both of these weddings and share in their joy.
As I said, everyone loves a wedding. Who doesn’t like seeing family and friends all gathering to celebrate people finding love? All filled with wonder and dreams of a blissful future. We all go in with the best of intentions, oblivious to how difficult it will be to preserve a lasting love. You watch them commit to each other with wide, dreamy eyes promising to be there in good times and bad. Us ole married couples look at them with hope that they can endure the bends and twists of the future. We know that their love will be tested with all the stresses of “life”. We pray their hardships are minimal and they have the fortitude to endure and honor their commitment. As wonderful as being in love is, it is not as we know (and they will come to find out) EASY. It requires hard work and compromise. All too many give up too easily these days. Most things in life that are worth it require perseverance.
So, Valentine’s Day is a great day to recognize and celebrate our LOVE, romantic love, familial love and friendship. Human’s need love and no one tires of being told how much they are loved. Whether it be with chocolates, flowers, dinner, cookies (check out my easy Valentine cookies on the recipe page), gifts or simply a card, be sure to show not only your own special love (if you have one) how much you love them but also others in your life that support and love you. Small gestures speak very loudly. Words are great, but as my wise mother always tells me.. actions speak louder than words. I hope you are all honored on this Valentine’s Day and many other days throughout the year. XO
Beautiful my girl!❤️
What a great post! So much love, you’ve got me tearing up! ♥️