Derby Dilemma and Delivery

Have you ever been to an actual Derby or Derby party? Well if you haven’t you really should consider it. I have to say I never really thought much about it until I received an invitation via Facebook for the “Down and Derby party in Boston, rated one of the top Derby parties in the country. I thought to myself that might be fun. It was more appealing as the party was a fundraiser for a non profit Love Life Now Foundation for improving lives of victims & survivors of domestic violence. (lovelifenow.org) An interesting event with a great cause. The bonus, I get to wear a HAT!

I have had a recent fascination with a show my daughter turned me on to, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. If you haven’t seen it you should get right on it. You’ll just fall in love with the main character, Midge. There are currently two seasons on Amazon Prime with a third season coming. If you have plenty of time to binge it, it will certainly make you laugh. Not a paid advertisement- just a truly hilarious show!

The reason I mention it is because of my hat fascination. Mrs. Maisel is a young housewife in the late 1950’s who is always perfectly outfitted, always with an accompanying headpiece. I have become obsessed with her millinery. IDK, I guess I just LOVE hats and never get to wear them. Women back then always looked so polished and elegant. This will give me the perfect opportunity to fulfill my Mrs. Maisel wanna be fantasies. Can’t tell you what a treat I was in for.

So after confirming I would not be attending this festivity solo (had to have some peeps) I was off and running. Where does one begin? Being recently laid off, I had ample time to find my “Derby” hat of choice. But where do I find one? Silly me… google it. I googled and googled. I read about the origins of the Derby hat and that it wasn’t only for fashion but said to be good luck, who knew! Your Derby hat was to reflect your personal style and should match your dress but withstanding traditions the trends have evolved. But where do I actually shop for this attire?

Well I could have gone to an awesome hat shop that a friend suggested, Salmagundi’s in Jamaica Plain. I checked it out and the selection was to die for..but since I was on a budget I decided to seek out a more frugal option. Back to the internet! Amazon Prime here I come. Not sure if this was the best idea as with such an abundance to choose from.. I had serious problems as I loved 95% of them. In addition I noticed when I punched in Derby hats, Derby dresses popped up. How convenient! This couldn’t get any easier. It might seem easy but I usually did not buy clothes online due to my diminutive stature- its IMPOSSIBLE to find sizes that fit right! I almost reconsidered but returns were FREE making it all too tempting to resist.

So the search began.. Not only did they have amazing hats, they had retro dresses from my favorite Mrs. Maisel era. OMG can this get any better? I swear I am misplaced. I was born ten years too late. I just love the fifties. These dresses were adorable. I had to wear one from this time frame, this was definitely meant to be. I would settle for nothing less.

So much to choose from and so reasonably priced. I had a blast using my fashion expertise from my under utilized college degree in textiles. Choosing styles, prints, and coordinating hats online can be a little challenging. Colors are often misrepresented, sizing varied, and reviews in my size limited. After about three hours, I narrowed it down to an order of 3 hats, one fascinator (headpiece attached by a clip/band) and four coordinating dresses all in different color schemes. I figured with this many options one was bound to fit or at least be close. My head being the size of a pea is also why I justified four headpieces. It couldn’t possibly be because I loved so many..no it was definitely my challenging head size.

So I waited anxiously. Of course with Amazon Prime they started arriving quickly but staggered.. which was torturous. The first to trickle in was my red fascinator with black netting. I put that on and obviously fell in love with it. The next day was the black print halter dress, green coordinating hat and another pink hat. Instant love. Following day, the black petticoat bought to enhance the flared skirts of all the dresses. To my surprise the dress fit perfectly and the green hat (not a color I would normally choose) highlighted the green in the print beautifully. Not to mention the hat fit perfectly as it had an adjustable cord inside. The petticoat made the dress even more special. I fell in love with this outfit. I couldn’t imagine liking any of the others as much.

Then the mail arrived the next day. Scratch that thought… the last three dresses came in and the last hat. I tried on every ensemble- and girlfriends you will never believe it..every dress fit and every hat chosen complimented the dress as if they were made for each other. 🤦‍♀️ What is a girl to do now? Now let’s be real, how often does this happen to a hard to size woman shopping online? UM… like never..

Needless to say I walked around the house for days modeling these outfits. Thank god I wasn’t working.. I would never have had time for this quandary. My son thought I had lost it. My husband, the trooper he was, endured numerous showings and was smart enough to say they all looked great which of course was no help at all. I showed them to my mother, my daughters, and my friends all with the hope there would be a unanimous decision. Everyone agreed, the choice was difficult. I finally was able to narrow it down to one of two outfits while convincing my girlfriend to wear one of the other two. I knew either one would look great on her, five more inches in height would make the dresses even more charming. On me they were calf length, on her knee length.

So low and behold you can see what my choice ended up being, my initial arrival. And guess what? I decided to keep them all anyway!!! Except for the one I gave my girlfriend as this one had her name written all over it. I figured this will NEVER happen again so I may as well take full advantage. Great value and fit. Now I will just have to find other events to wear them to! I also justified it by considering that the cost for my four outfits was probably comparable to the cost of the hat alone for many. Not a bad job at all Deb… thrifty and yet the exact style I was aiming for. 🙌 🙌 Not sure if my husband agreed with this.. since he did ask which items I was planning on returning. I sheepishly replied, “none” which resulted in his response, “you are a piece of work”. Hahaha. As my good friend Karen would say ” a Masterpiece!”. Remember that honey. “a Masterpiece!” Karen is never wrong!

So after the dilemma was solved I’m sure you are wondering whether the Derby was worth all of this hype, prep and hoopla. Well I can confirm- it absolutely was! From the red carpet arrival, the James Brown show by Tony Wilson, the amazing music by Louise Bello, wonderful hors d’oeuvres, raffles and contests the Down and Derby party delivered everything and then some.

I enjoyed everything about the experience. The food prepared by Serafina’s (where the event took place) was delicious. I would definitely go there for dinner as their menu looks exquisite and what I sampled gave credibility. The James Brown show was extraordinary. I actually think Tony Wilson is James Brown reincarnated, I have no words- you just have to see if for yourself. The music by Louie Bello was so fine. A wide selection was performed which appealed to all age groups. I think he now has a new #1 fan. I’ll be following him. Check him out if you are interested in Country R&B. www.louiebello.com. He’s a cutie too. And the dancing didn’t end there as it continued with nationally acclaimed DJ Liz Ladoux for the remainder of the evening. I danced so much I thought my feet were going to fall off. Literally. My shoes sucked- note to self: the value of comfortable footwear is vastly underrated.

The master of ceremonies, Gustavo Leon was quite entertaining and overruled the judges for the best hat award which went to my friend Karen Clemmey. She graciously donated her prize back to the charity. She was a site in sizzling fuchsia so I can see why he felt he had veto power. Not sure if the nominees felt the same but who can argue with someone donating back to charity….um NO ONE.!

For me the Derby experienced “delivered” everything and more than I expected it to. Frankly it fully exceeded my expectations. But I have to admit there was something else that made it extra special. It was the company. I was fortunate enough to have my very first “Derby” experience with a group of nine lovely ladies. One, the initiator of the invite for this memorable event was introduced to me by one of the other eight ladies via Facebook. It was the first time I actually met her in person, although I felt like I had known her for quite some time. Another lovely lady was an old friend that I had known for years, as our sons played together fifteen years ago. Another, was a neighbor whom I had met years ago and I have recently gotten to know better, having had the privilege to spend more time together. Also a newer friend, one of four years-which is credited to our children’s friendship that goes back much longer. I’m grateful to be making up for lost time as she is treasure. The remaining four wonderful ladies that I was lucky to be introduced to (from the previously mentioned friendship) have been her friends for many, many years. I’m so honored to have been included in their special circle. No matter where in the spectrum of time that I have met these women, it was their presence that made this Derby party a wonderful memory for me. Each beautiful in their own individual way, donning their glorious hats and fascinators. All of them collectively contributing to my idea of friendship. Which brings to mind a favorite childhood song…”Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.” Thank you all! You lovely Derby Dolls!

Deborah Balog

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