INTRODUCTION
This post is going to be a tad different than the previous ones. In my attempt to draw women of ALL ages my young editor will also be contributing to the content of this post. Exploring topics from the young, and the let’s say not old but “mature” viewpoint adds value to women of all ages. Our youth can hopefully gain some insight into their future from older viewpoints. Us mature women can relive our youth through their eyes or attain a better understanding of changing generations. We would love to know our readers thoughts on this new approach so please chime in. Your engagement is very much welcome as this is your place too. Thank you all for visiting a “place for you”. ALL of you.
DEB
We as a family just finished celebrating Easter and for the first time I noticed traditional changes around me. Easter for me growing up was all about Church and the Easter Bunny. I guess I never really questioned what a bunny had to do with Easter. Religiously, I knew as it was taught to me every Sunday. As a kid, I just took for granted that this was just the way it was, a bunny that brought me filled Easter eggs and treats. What’s really to question? I guess that is why my kids never questioned it either. Traditions get implemented and we just adopt them without much thought. Maybe you knew where the Easter bunny originated from but me.. not a clue.
Maybe, just maybe because I now have a retired and uncluttered (haha) mind I have nothing else to do but question everything lol. Or maybe it’s because I am anticipating my new granddaughter as being more curious than me and my own kids. Should I even try to explain this American tradition we are bestowing on her? Maybe she won’t question why a bunny would bring eggs and just be mesmerized by the candy like we all were.
As a little girl I looked forward to my Easter basket filled with all kinds of delicious treasures. (I was very deprived of candy as a child- not allowed except for special occasions) I would don my Easter outfit, go to mass, come home and tear open that cellophane! Then after eating the one piece I was allowed we would gather for our ham dinner with my mom, dad, sister and grandmother.
For my own kids, I got a little creative and had them search for their baskets. I don’t know how I came up with this idea to be totally honest. The adventure seemed to make it more fun in my opinion. They each had their own assigned color of eggs to avoid confusion and I (oh excuse me… the Easter Bunny) would start a trail outside of their bedroom door to wherever their treasure basket was hidden. This bunny appeared to be a little more affluent as he/she (can’t gender the bunny these days can I!) would leave baskets of not only candy but toys and new clothes. This bunny if I must say was a little over the top! We would then sit down to a grand breakfast combining two cultural traditions of Polish perogies, kielbasa, and homemade Portuguese Sweetbread, along with the beautifully colored Easter eggs from the evening before.. Later, the extended family would join us for the traditional ham dinner I had enjoyed as a child.
My search for the Easter Bunny took me to Germany. It appears the bunny was adopted by America in the 1700s from German immigrants. Evidently, they had a traditional egg laying hare called “Osterhase”, or Oschter Haws. The children made nests hoping for the hare to leave brightly colored eggs. Somehow we morphed the hare to our Americanized cute “bunny.” This bunny has no connection to our religious celebration and oddly enough can also be sourced back to paganism. Their deity, Eostra, the goddess of spring, rebirth and fertility was symbolized by a rabbit. I’m sure you can guess why.. Her name seems quite similar to the name “Easter”. Maybe that’s how Easter got its name.. who know! All I know is they seem to be too similar for it not to be a coincidence.
So, that little history lesson brings me to my observation as to how the celebration has changed for me over the years. Easter was always a major holiday for me and as I said we would get a new outfit with an Easter bonnet. I fondly remember my shiny patent leather shoes and matching purse. My mom and grandmother always received beautiful Orchid corsages to wear to Mass. I so looked forward to attending this Mass more so than any other Sunday except maybe for Christmas. The music was joyous and we were all full of renewed hope. Our church was always overflowing with people and happiness.
My church trip this year was a bit eye opening. Yes, I was one of those Chreasters this year, I’m embarrassed to say. But I have been making an effort to reconnect. I looked around and realized no one was in an “Easter outfit”. When was the last time I bought an “Easter outfit”? The church was barely full and a majority of the congregation was older. We didn’t even shake hands anymore for the sign of peace. The music was nice but comparatively speaking, something was missing. I couldn’t really put my finger on it. The only way I can describe it, is the vibrance of the community seemed absent. We were all present, but the faces to me lacked joy. As much as I wanted to feel renewed by this holy day I felt sad. This feeling of loss of tradition wasn’t only in our outward appearance, it appeared inward as we all just seemed distant. I couldn’t wait to go home and be with our family of sixteen members to cherish our remaining Easter tradition.
Maybe it was just me. I’m hoping that I am wrong and the distance I was feeling was remnants of COVID which for some seems to never end. I pray that I am wrong. The sense of community I always felt when coming together is so valuable, more valuable than we give it credit. Our world is so complex and seems more troubled than ever before. We cannot lose these very important unifying places and experiences. Maybe I just need to get more involved to really feel the goodness of humanity and not let the noise overshadow it. I hope I am very much alone in this feeling as I can see how it can breed futility. I will desperately cling to the traditions I have left to preserve for my grandchildren, hopefully we all can see their value and retain and renew them.
NATALIE
As a little girl, most of my holidays were some variation of spending the early morning with my parents and sisters before going to my grandmother’s to spend the rest of the day with my extended family. For most of my life, Easter followed this sequence with the addition of an egg hunt at my aunt’s. I remember enjoying the whole week leading up to it. I found going to Church the week before to be one of the more exciting Sunday masses. I always liked getting the palms and making little crosses out of them and placing them behind the crucifixes in our house. My early childhood consisted of attending Catholic school until fifth grade. Easter break consisted of having off Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Monday. Being in Catholic school and learning about Easter throughout the week made each day feel like a small celebration. We typically attended the Easter Vigil on Saturday, a long mass but very special. My favorite part was the beginning where everyone would light each other’s candles. I just liked anything at church that was different than the typical service I had during the week at school and on Sundays in “Ordinary Time”. Now reflecting back, I have a lot more appreciation for those services and what they are meant to represent.
This year I attended church with my boyfriend, his mom, and grandmother. We went on Sunday morning. Growing up, I remember Christmas and Easter masses would always be over flowing with extra chairs out of the pews and people crammed in as a result of all the “Chreaster” goers lol. This past Easter, attendance was similar to what I found it to be when I went with my mom on Christmas Eve, full, but not what Holiday full ever was. In both instances I could only imagine how sparse attendance must be on a typical Sunday. In all honesty, I haven’t been to church many Sundays. I had gone on a random Sunday last October and again it was barren. I chalked part of that up to still being Covid.
My mom tells me that some Sundays instead of attending she watches mass. It’s a good thing there are outlets that make it more accessible but sometimes I think we have compromised community for accessibility. This seems wildly applicable as mass attendance has really taken a hit. Often you hear people justify that while people (especially younger) are less religious they are now more spiritual. While it seems better than nothing, the more I reflect on my upbringing and plan/imagine my future I think about how beneficial the ritual and community of religion is. I don’t see individual spirituality having the same benefits. For people not raised with religion, I often see them only then seek out some system of faith in response to a crisis. Neither myself nor my parents do, or have ever agreed with everything the Catholic Church says. Regardless, I’m thankful to have been raised with this foundation and thereafter have the choice of how I want to continue my faith.
Separate of the religious elements, my family has other Easter traditions. The Saturday before Easter I would dye eggs with my parents and sisters. Every year without fail, my dad would talk about how they didn’t use kits and he would sit with food coloring, q tips, and toothpicks making little mosaics and creative designs. I loved to see my dad experiencing the tradition with me with the same enthusiasm I’m sure he enjoyed as a little boy. On Easter morning when I walked downstairs I would find a note signed from the Easter Bunny with a riddle to where my Easter basket was. A battle between my sister and I to find each of ours the fastest. It’s been one of my favorite Easter traditions and one I know I will carry on with my own children.
One of the things I most appreciate about my parents is the continuation of the traditions as we grew. 2021, was the last year I was home for Easter and I still had a note and hidden basket just as I did when I was young. I’m still unsure how my dad and the Easter Bunny had such similar penmanship. As consistent as my Easter traditions have been, it’s also the holiday that has seemed to have the most disruption. There were a few years my dad had to work weekends. On those mornings when I woke up he wasn’t there to watch me find my basket, but my note and riddle always were. ❤
Easter is the first major holiday that I have spent with my boyfriend’s family which I’m very grateful for. I think for most of us time spent with a significant other is the first time you get to experience someone else’s traditions. In my young adulthood and now relationship, I often think about which of our individual traditions will carry on and how they’ll merge and what will be new. I remedy that feeling of somberness of maybe missing out on my own traditions with the appreciation and joy that he and his family have welcomed me with. Around Thanksgiving we had briefly talked about holidays together. I joked that both of us liking to spend time with our families seemed like a good problem to have. Plenty of people don’t have anyone or anywhere they want to spend these days with, I feel extremely lucky to now have two.
Easter is the first major holiday I have spent away from my family. My family lives in Bethlehem, PA and I attended UConn and now still reside in CT. I remember the realization my Freshman year that I wouldn’t be coming home for Sunday as I was 4 hours away and had class Monday morning. I felt sad as I missed out on my family traditions. Although my parents have very graciously always sent me a basket when I have not been there. I also felt a sort of guilt that my absence was taking away from my parent’s holiday as well. The term empty nesters exist for parents whose kids are no longer home but I think we need something catchy for us kids who are yet to have a “nest” of own. The transition of “home” to “my parent’s” is pretty uncomfortable.
CLOSING
We hope you enjoyed this format of offering two perspectives. While this piece was sparked by conversations we’ve had together, we chose to write each of our pieces separately. In comparing even at 40 years apart, there exists a similar feeling in our pictures and memories. White tights, patent leather shoes, Easter lilies and attendees overflowing in church… If these things held true for the 40 years between us when did they start to change? Have you noticed the changes any more or less? We’d love to hear your reflections on Easter (or any holiday you celebrate!) past & present and feedback on this new format. With love ❤
Easter, or orstara in its pagan form is assimilated with fertility and the spring season of re- birth… hence the bunny- roots are well pre- dated from the Catholic meaning we grew up knowing and celebrating.
The traditions we carry are all symbolic of the origins of these celebrations- your last posting on making sweet bread is also symbolic to Catholics with the bread rising (like Christ rising from the dead). You also mentioned in that post that some people add lemon to the recipe but putting whole eggs in the center prior to baking is also another that ties back to a more ancient tradition of bread representing a woman’s womb and the eggs she carries to bring forth life- a symbolic gesture for the Gods to smile down and bless the tribes with children and prosperity. Over the centuries, the script was flipped and women’s power was stripped away- they were feared because they brought forth life, but they were the ones that held society together while the men went out to hunt- they took care of the village, they were the doctors, diplomats and judges- they wove fabrics to clothe and to trade which was the basis of their economic growth. They became nothing more that property and housekeepers. Modern religion became the vehicle to bring the tribes to conform and gradually take the power away from women. Today, a more aware population(woke if you will) of feminists are finally tipping the tables back. This might also be reason for the decline in numbers of those more traditional organized religions.
Loved your story girls, and yes the church’s attendance and customs have certainly changed, and unfortunately not for the better. Really miss those old days!