Being that Women’s History Month is almost over and this blog is titled Feminine Findings, I felt it fitting to write about the female experience. When I look through the collections of our blog posts over the last few years, most of my favorites are those that specifically document our experiences with womanhood and of course, our favorite women. Just a few to revisit:
- Femininity, To Lose or To Embrace: The Great Debacle
- Grammy, Nana, Nonna, Avo, Babcia, GiGi, Mimi, How Much Do You or Did You Love Your Grandmother?
- Do You Like Being Called A Bitch? It’s Evolved to A Powerful Thing! Own It Bitches!
- Am I Turning Into My Mother? Do I Want To?
Quite the collection we have begun to build? And nonetheless, somehow still we have more to say. Organizing my thoughts and finding just what I want to say has been a feat all in its own. I even did scour for some of my college essays on topics specific to women. I remember writing them oh so not so long ago…. They were- girls’ access to education worldwide, the effects of pornography from different feminist lenses, Wollstonecraft’s political theory (many times over). Shocking, this blog isn’t the first opportunity I’ve taken to speak about women, right? I think this union was meant to be, Deb.
So, maybe I am just programmed as a girls’ girl in every sense of the term. At least I’d like to think I am. Ironically enough, the phrase girls’ girl mostly has risen to popularity in reference to of course still…men. Those whose default is to lift up another women or as we like to say “have their back”. This contrasts with the male centric part of our population who tend to cater to men at the expense of other women. I’m pretty certain anyone reading this has a clear visual of the types of women I’m describing. As I become more secure in myself and seek less validation from others (especially men) I find myself a better person, friend, and woman.
Don’t get me wrong, I like most of us, have 100% had my male centered moments (months…years…eras). Many conversations between my best friends and myself are far from passing the “Bechdel Test” even at 26. If you’re unfamiliar, the Bechdel Test is a metric created to measure female representation in film. The criteria: two named female characters must have at least one conversation about something other than a man. Seems simple but a shocking amount of films do not pass. How telling of our society’s perception of female relationships. There’s so many elements of womanhood outside of partnerships with men and how women show up for each other in those moments.
Regarding gender, I do think in the way similar to race or religion, part of treating someone fairly is allowing them to be an individual in their collective. I would be lying if I said, I don’t tend to give women a bit more of the benefit of the doubt than men. But I still have a strong stance of just because you’re another woman doesn’t mean I blindly support you or overlook your shortcomings. I’ve seen the shift in discourse from “girls support girls” to “girls protect girls”; an acknowledgement that we as women can disagree and hold each other accountable in the appropriate spaces and yet there are still times and topics where we share a collective understanding to protect one another’s safety, rights, and dignity.
It’s the reason I personally have always found myself more aligned to liberal than radical feminism, in the most traditional senses of the ideology. I have critiques all around on the branches of feminism and how they have played out in execution. But, it is the bare bones concepts of equal opportunity that I align with. I do have my own opinions on self actualization, the pursuit of happiness, and society’s role; that’s not the point I hope to make here.
As I said in my femininity piece, regardless of my opinions, I think women should be able to make choices about their lives whether it’s the career chasing, stay at home mom, or some hybrid of the two or neither. I don’t know but I do resent the people (especially other women) who try to insist to an individual that they are any less of a woman for making her decisions regardless of where they fall. That’s the essence of being a girls’ girl for all women.
